Celebrating Catholic Weddings, Part 2

Some additional thoughts on Introductory Rites

     Sometimes presiders, fearing the ritual can be cold, attempt to “warm it up” by adding niceties and anecdotal things outside of the ritual. For instance, the presider’s first words should always be, “In the name of the Father . . . ”, yet sometimes he will skip both the sign of the cross and the Pauline greeting in favor of a more mundane greeting. Let’s not forget, we are on holy ground, and the presider is the Church’s minister and witness, and not a game show host, if you will. Thus, it is always best for the presider to stay within the rubrics, leading the sign of the cross and greeting the assembly in the way prescribed, yet without following the greeting with a “translation” of “Good afternoon, everyone.”.

    The new Roman Missal states that the Penitential Act is to be omitted and that the Glory to God is to be included in a wedding Eucharist. This inclusion of the Glory to God, I believe, assumes the wedding is taking place on a Sunday. Although a good idea in theory, if it must be included it would best be recited, unless there is present an assembly ready to heartily sing it.

     Probably nothing makes me cringe more at a wedding than seeing a presider who arrives with his own binder. This usually indicates that he has amassed his own collection of prayers, etc. for use, and thus the musicians may have no idea what to expect next.

Liturgy of the Word at Weddings

     Couples are encouraged to select the readings for their wedding liturgy. Most of the time they are given a resource, Together for Life, by the late Rev. Joseph Champlain. This comprehensive resource gives to couples all the options for all the prayers and readings of the wedding liturgy. Personally, I don’t think that couples need to select which prayers the priest uses, but that’s a matter of one’s opinion. 

     It is important that couples choose their readings together. Couples should read the options and the commentaries, and might even take the opportunity to pray together over them. 

     Who should proclaim the readings? It is common for the couple to choose family or friends to proclaim the Scripture readings. Proclaiming Scripture is serious business, because as Catholics we believe Christ is truly present in the Word as in the Eucharist. Therefore, its proclamation must be entrusted to those who are properly able to minister. Someone who does not have a life in the Church is probably not the right person to proclaim Scripture.

     True story: During a February wedding one year, a groomsman (who seemed to have been drinking prior to the liturgy) got up to proclaim the second reading, from 1 Corinthians. Arriving at the ambo he said, “Before I do this, I’d just like to say that a lot of people were nervous having a February wedding because of the weather, but it was 11 years ago today that [bride & groom] had their first date, so let’s hear it for them!”. With that, thunderous applause from the otherwise stoic assembly, followed by, “Um . . . a reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians . . . ”. 

     Fortunately, it seems we are long past the days when Kahlil Gibran passages were requested or snuck in in lieu of Scripture readings. I even know a bishop who as a presbyter presided at the 1970s wedding of his cousin, and allowed a Gibran passage during the Liturgy of the Word, only crossing out the words “This is the word of the Lord.”! Needless to say, the Word of God is never to replaced by anything.

     It is also not necessary to have two readings before the Gospel. One can have a reading from either the Old or New Testament, the psalm, the Gospel acclamation and the Gospel, bearing in mind the Gospel is never to be omitted.
     The psalm is to be selected from among the psalms of Scripture. Must the psalm be selected from the prescribed psalms in the Lectionary? Not necessarily. For example, a seasonal psalm could be used, e.g. singing Psalm 118: This Is the Day at an Eastertide wedding. The psalm, however, must never be replaced by something that is not in the proper form or drawn from proper sources. Not to disparage a beautiful song or its wonderful composer, but one example would be using I Have Loved You as a “psalm”. But it is based on Psalm 24, you might say. Well, the verses, are inspired by Psalm 24, but that is all. The refrain is drawn from Jeremiah 31. While this song can be (and is) appropriately included in many weddings, it cannot be used as a setting of the psalm. Having said all that, there are countless wonderful settings of psalms for weddings that are available. Must the psalm be sung? Except for serious pastoral reason, yes. And as the Word of God, it should always be proclaimed (that is, sung) from the ambo rather than the cantor’s stand.
     Just as in any Mass, the Gospel is to be proclaimed from the ambo or pulpit, and not from anywhere else, e.g. standing in front of the couple or on the floor in front of the assembly. Following the Gospel and the homily, we come to the moment for which the couple have been waiting . . .

Celebrating Catholic Weddings, Part 1

The Catholic Wedding

     Catholic wedding. Just those two words are enough to make the skin of any liturgical minister crawl with stress. Why? For one, the words “Catholic wedding liturgy” are oftentimes an oxymoron.
     We are well into wedding season already. And let’s face it, the vast majority of couples who come to the Church to marry do not have a life in the Church. Some have not been to Mass since their Confirmation. Most are occasional attendees at best. And many, even those who do regularly attend Mass, come with unrealistic expectations of the Church and the liturgy, which creates a tension from the very beginning. Sometimes it is those who are known to the parish who come with the most outrageous requests, believing that their familiarity in the parish entitles them to certain exceptions. All of this can turn a joyful experience into one fraught with stress, both for the couple and for the Church.
     Let’s take a look at some of the aspects of the wedding liturgy and how it can be celebrated in a life-giving manner. In my years of pastoral experience, I have yet to see any liturgy committee (more on liturgy committees in a later post) take up the manner of how weddings are celebrated in their parish. It is also rare that the parish clergy will get together and decide on what I call a “house style” of celebrating these liturgies (let alone Sunday liturgies). At the very mention to a liturgy committee, I have heard (usually the older women) state that “It’s the bride’s day, she should have whatever she wants.”. Arrrggghhhh!
     Every sacrament is a celebration for the whole Church, though there may be private moments, such as during the celebration of Reconciliation. Weddings are public celebrations for the Church. As such, they need to be celebrated within the liturgical norms of the Church. If we gathered all the pastoral ministers in the Church in one place to trade stories, there would be a multitude of wedding “horror stories” shared among us. But let’s not focus on the negatives. There are also many weddings that are very beautiful, prayerful and Christ-centered. This post is geared toward bringing all weddings to that level.

Sunday Mass and the Wedding Liturgy

     Believe it or not, the proper time to celebrate a wedding is during Sunday Mass. What?? And have all those strangers there, not to mention how they would be dressed? What kind of a wedding would that be? First, as disciples of Christ, as members of his Body, we are not strangers, we are brothers and sisters in the Lord. This scenario, however, represents an ideal that does not yet represent reality in our culture, though in some parts of the world it is not unusual to have several couples marry in the same Sunday liturgy!
     Having said all that, let’s remember that the Sunday Eucharist is the center and summit of the Christian life. All that we do during the week we bring to that celebration, and all that we receive from that celebration we take with us into our weekly lives. It is the Sunday Eucharist that also shapes the way in which we celebrate all the sacraments. So, weddings should be modeled on the manner in which Sunday Eucharist is celebrated. For the sake of clarity, I will treat the liturgy in chronological, rather than hierarchical, order. But first . . .

Eucharist or Ceremony?

     The sacraments are celebrated in their normative fashion during the Eucharist. But are couples really looking to celebrate the Eucharist for their wedding? Like I said above, most couples don’t come to the Church for Sunday Eucharist, so why would they want their wedding celebrated in the context of Eucharist? For some, it’s because of family expectation, or for others they think it would be nice. Still others are sincerely wishing to make Eucharist part of their marriage, be it not necessarily on good soil. The choice is up to the couple in consultation with their parish priest, deacon or lay minister. It might make more sense to have most weddings celebrated in a Liturgy of the Word. Let’s be realistic: How many times are crickets heard when the presider says, “The Lord be with you.”, and the congregation doesn’t seem to “wake up” until the very end when the presider introduces the couple and the guests start applauding, screaming and howling. (I find that irreverent, but that’s me.) If anything, a ceremony within a Liturgy of the Word lessens the amount of awkward time spent in the sanctuary.

Dress

     Can we talk? I know it’s the 21st century and fashion is not what it was even 20 years ago, but for heaven’s sake, can we at least have some rule that bridal gowns be appropriate for church? As fashionable as they may seem nowadays, strapless gowns are simply not reverent and can make even the presider feel uncomfortable. At least in the church, shawls should be worn to preserve modesty and reverence.

Fashionably Late?

     Put succinctly, fashionably late is fashionably rude. Couples do not rent the church for the day, nor do they hire the pastoral staff for the day. Here is what I tell couples: It takes 10 to 15 minutes from the time the bride arrives at the church to the start of the wedding. Your wedding is at 1pm? You must arrive no later than 12:45 to start on time. And unless you are related to your limo driver, don’t listen to him when he tells you you should pull up at 1:05! Did you ever notice that couples seem to find more credibility in photographers and limo drivers than the Church when it comes to weddings?

The Introductory Rites

     It is here that the couple (the bride in particular) focuses the most attention, although liturgically this is a minor rite. We start with the procession. Actually, we start before the procession, because there are certain things that have become traditional in the Catholic wedding preparation. Will there be music played beforehand? If so, what type(s)? How long before the wedding will it start? Let’s start with type of music. Before, during, after, all music for the liturgy should be sacred music. We are here to celebrate a sacrament, not a romantic rendezvous. That is not meant to sound cold, for in fact it is romance that led to this day. Having said that, there is a place for romantic love songs during that day, but the liturgy is not meant for it. What about beforehand? Well, beforehand we are preparing ourselves for the celebration of the liturgy, be it Eucharist or ceremony, so again, sacred pieces should be the norm, without love songs or Broadway songs, etc. Those are best kept for the reception. Hey, what would happen if someone suggested dancing the first dance at the reception to Holy God, We Praise Thy Name? Well, it would be out of place, among other things. Exactly!

     With regard to the procession, Sunday Eucharist seems to be ignored. On Sunday we have the cross, followed by the Book of the Gospels, followed by the presider. This should also be the norm for weddings, and also gives an opportunity for more family involvement. A family member carries the cross in procession, another the Book of the Gospels, and the presider follows. Behind him, the entire bridal party, including the groom. Most people don’t realize this, but the ideal is for bride and groom to come down the aisle together. I have seen it happen more than once. The difference: Bride and groom come down the aisle beaming on each other’s arm, instead of looking scared. Now, the reality is that most brides wish to be accompanied by their fathers, so let’s not take that away from them. But here is something to consider: All couples in the wedding party, paired together for the day, should process as couples. The groom should not be hiding before the wedding and the groomsmen should not slip down the side aisle before the wedding begins, having the fashion show of the bridesmaids (to me it looks like cars popping out at the end of a carwash). We no longer have a bridal procession in a village of the bride’s father processing his daughter, i.e. his property, to her groom, to become the groom’s property, for which he paid a dowery to the father. In the “traditional” setup, both mothers are honored by being escorted and seated before the start of the procession. The bride’s father escorts her. Who’s left out? The groom’s father, who is neither honored nor even recognized. So, behind the presider let the couples process as couples, followed by the groom escorted by his parents (all depending on family situation). This could be reversed as well, with the groom and his parents following the presider. Then, lastly, the bride escorted by both her parents. Thus, these two families of origin (brides and grooms don’t come out of nowhere) bring their children to the altar to start a new family.

     What is happening musically during this time? Ideally, a song sung by all, just as on Sunday, but that is not practical, as everyone is watching the procession. Therefore, processional-type music, followed by a gathering song or hymn works very nicely, as long as the assembly have good worship aids (not those cast lists provided by local printers).

Lights, Camera . . .

     Weddings are a lot of work if you wish to do them correctly. In one parish where I served we decided to make our weddings more Christ- and prayer-centered than bride-centered. This took great effort. Did we lose some weddings? Absolutely, but we likely lost those that would prove to be problematic, and the ones we kept turned out to be mostly wonderful. One of the things we did in this regard was to require that there be no picture taking during the liturgy. We did adjust this to allow folks to snap a photo during the procession, but not after that. There are hired photographers and videographers, and that was enough. Few folks gave us a problem, and there were far less distractions. In order to celebrate in a prayerful manner, those distractions must be kept to a minimum, if not eliminated altogether. And as long as everything started relatively on time, and the church was available, folks were welcome to stay as long as they like and take pictures afterward.

Next up . . . The Liturgy of the Word

The Paschal Light

The Paschal Light

     “In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the
          earth—
     and the earth was without form or shape, with darkness
     over the abyss and a mighty wind sweeping over the waters—
     Then God said: Let there be light, and there was light.
     God saw that the light was good.” (Genesis 1:1–4a)

     Thus begins all of Scripture. Is it not fitting that the first element God would create would be a reflection of the divine Self? Why did God give us light? The reasons, if they can be discerned, would be endless. God wanted us to experience the gift of creation in a way that would delight us and open to us the possibilities of putting his gifts to great benefit for all. God also wanted us to experience a foreshadow of the beatific vision of God, that of light, of warmth, of peace.
     Light has, of course, become a great symbol and constitutive part of our Catholic celebrations. As with other symbols, the Church took the pagan use of fire and gave it a Christian meaning, thus in every liturgy we experience the use of flame as a reflection of the light of Christ in our lives. That presence of Christ is made real for us once again each Easter Vigil with the blessing of the new fire and the lighting of the new candle with the light of Christ present. How fitting it is that, out of the darkness of the tomb on Holy Saturday we are led by the light of Christ himself.
     To me, one of the most beautiful symbols we experience all year is that of the flame from the Paschal candle lighting up the entire church as that flame is passed from one person’s candle to the other. How beautiful it is that a light, when shared, does not diminish but grows. It is thus with love, which is God’s very essence. As love—as God—is shared, love grows, unlike earthly possessions. And the beauty of that action is even lauded in the Exsultet, the Easter Proclamation of the Vigil:

          “But now we know the praises of this pillar,
          which glowing fire ignites for God’s honor,
          a fire into many flames divided,
          yet never dimmed by sharing of its light . . . ”

     Okay, time for a few anecdotes. These are a few horror stories for those of us in liturgy, but I really experienced each of these situations. The first was a parish whose pastor did not like wax dripping on the carpet of the church. The liturgy committee agreed with him that it was no longer a good idea to give candles to the congregation because of the dripping wax and because of the fear that some child might set someone’s hair on fire. (I’ve never actually heard of that happening, have you?) One committee member said that she felt the sight of that one flame in the midst of the darkened church would be just beautiful. Argh! Despite my protestations it went forward that way. How difficult it was, when proclaiming the Exsultet, not to sing (in the former translation): “Accept this Easter candle, a flame that should have been divided and yet undimmed . . . ”.
     The second horror story was at a parish where the temporary administrator (who later became pastor) decided that we had enough of a candle that we need not buy a new one that year! How I came close to singing: “Once again, accept this same Easter candle, a flame again divided but as yet undimmed . . . ”.
     Finally, a parish who, like many others, had a plastic Easter candle (I can’t really even call it that) that only needed to replace the oil lamp in it as needed. Thankfully, the next pastor had the good sense to replace it with a beautiful candle stand and real candle each year. Unfortunately, the founding pastor had an electric sanctuary lamp installed, and that awaits replacement. Yes, you heard me right! Which leads to my final point for today . . .
     I fear I will never see this in my lifetime, but there is something woefully undignified and pointless about the way we light and use candles in our liturgies. Now before you start throwing things at me, hear me out. Go back to the Easter Vigil. Once that light of Christ, that sacramental presence is made real, all the candles in the sanctuary are lit during the Gloria from that Paschal candle. Thus, all candles, all natural light in the sanctuary is the presence of Christ, and especially the sanctuary lamp, which stands guard of the tabernacle. The presence of Christ in the tabernacle is announced with the light of Christ, not some flick of a Bic. Now, here is what is supposed to happen: From then on, for the entire year, all candles, all lights, are to be taken from the sanctuary lamp. The sanctuary lamp, for its part, is never to go out, but its light is to be taken from its dying candle to a new one each week or so. (Remember, the sanctuary lamp, like the lamp of the Ark in the synagogue, is never to be extinguished.) Every time a liturgy is celebrated, the light of the sanctuary lamp is to be used for the candles. Thus, the light that is used for the entire year is taken from that one Paschal flame first lit at the Easter Vigil. Why does this never seem to happen? Well, it takes an incredible amount of vigilance and work. Would it be worth it? I believe so, but there are those who feel it is a minor thing and thus not worth the effort, for who would even notice.
     What do you think?

Emmaus and the Eucharist

The Road to Emmaus

    Today we heard the beloved story of Emmaus in Luke’s gospel. This is one of the most famous and loved stories in all the gospel, and it gives us an account of the first Eucharist celebrated after the Resurrection. But didn’t the first Eucharist take place at the Last Supper? Well, yes and no. Christ instituted the Eucharist, as well as the priesthood at that Last Supper, thus tying together the sacramental presence of Christ with the service of others. Remember, the Last Supper was the seder meal of Passover, not something new unto itself. What was new was Jesus’s offering of the bread and the cup as his Body and Blood, and his command to remember him whenever the meal is celebrated.
     Emmaus, however, was different. In the three synoptic gospels (Mt. 26:26–29; Mk. 14:22–25; Lk. 22:14–20) there are accounts of the institution of the Eucharist. John gives us the institution of the priesthood (Jn. 13:3–20). St. Paul also gives us an account of the eucharistic institution in 1 Corinthians 11:23–26. Yet, it is at Emmaus that Jesus again engages in those same four actions of the Last Supper, those actions that we imitate at each liturgy: Jesus 1) took the bread, 2) blessed it, 3) broke it and 4) shared it. It is in these four actions that he was recognized by his disciples.
     Our celebration of the Eucharist has within it several rites, some major and some minor:

               The Introductory Rites
               The Liturgy of the Word
              The Liturgy of the Eucharist
               The Communion Rite
               The Concluding Rites.

The Emmaus account gives us a simpler version of what has become our Eucharistic liturgy, so let’s take a look:
     In Luke 24:13–26 we see the dejected disciples walking the road to Emmaus, depressed, defeated. Jesus, incognito to them, joins up with them. Jesus toys with them, in a sense, by pretending not to know the goings-on of the previous three days, and Cleopas ridicules him for being so out of touch. Thus, we have the first Gathering Rite (or Introductory Rites, if you will). Next, in verses 27 & 28 we have the first Liturgy of the Word, in which the glorified Christ explains and exegetes the prophetic writings that referred to him. In verse 29 we have a beautiful response to hearing the Word: “Stay with us.”. Thus, God, who comes to us in the Word then comes to us in the Eucharist: In verses 30–32 we have the Liturgy of the Eucharist (including the Communion Rite), in which Christ took the bread, blessed it, broke it and shared it with them, and they recognized him. His vanishing at this point may at first seem almost cruel, but had he stayed it would not have had the impact that it did, and they would not have had the burning in their hearts that they had, for they would simply have felt, “Lord, it is good for us to be here.” (Mt. 17:4a; Mk. 9:5a; Lk 9:33a). Instead, they did the most important thing we are called to do in any celebration of the Eucharist: They went forth and proclaimed Christ crucified and risen (Lk 24:33–35). This is the dismissal rite (Concluding Rites), and is the very root of the word “Mass”: missio, a sending. We come to the Eucharist, to the Mass, to be sent forth, to bring Christ to the world throughout the week (more on that in a later post).
     Thus, the Emmaus story gives us the sense of awe, mystery and wonder that God gives us in every celebration of the Eucharist, if only our eyes are open to seeing it.