The Error of Anticipating

     We are in the midst of the season of Advent, the beginning of our liturgical year. There is so much to celebrate in Advent with its two-fold theology of our spiritual preparation for Christmas and our looking for Christ to come again.

Anticipating vs. Participating

     We are as bad as any shopping mall when it comes to celebrating Advent. Sure, we celebrate it on the four Sundays prior to Christmas, but other than those four hours we bow to the temptation of anticipating the season in unspiritual ways. Case in point: How many parishes have “Christmas” concerts in the weeks leading up to Christmas? These are concerts full of Christmas carols and imagery. Why? When we as Catholics lament that the rest of the world ends the Christmas season the very night it actually begins, we are behaving no better. Christmas begins with Evening Prayer I on Christmas Eve and ends with Evening Prayer II on the feast of the Baptism of the Lord, this year January 11, 2015. We have 2-1/2 weeks to celebrate the season!

     Let me not be coy here. In full disclosure, I myself have participated in Adventide Christmas concerts. It’s just the way it is. But we must start moving toward a more meaningful experience of Advent, rather than trampling it to get to Christmas.

     Why don’t we anticipate Lent? Certainly we’re not singing These Forty Days of Lent during Ordinary Time the way we’re singing The Twelve Days of Christmas during Advent. We certainly don’t anticipate Easter during Lent, thankfully. Granted, the emotion attached to Christmas is higher than that to Easter, but is that really the way it ought to be? Are we Christmas people or Easter people?

     Our God lives in Advent. Advent is that joyful expectation with which we look forward to our final and everlasting union with God. Our God, who is head-over-heels crazy in love with us, can’t wait to meet each of us face to face and live with us forever. This is God’s sense of anticipation. And yet, God lives in joy, looking forward to that meeting face to face. We are called to live the same way.
     Advent bids us to start the new liturgical year by cleaning out the clutter in our lives, getting rid of anything that is not of God, so that our hearts may be purified as we await Christ’s return, for we know not when he will come. It is into the quiet of our hearts that we find the coming Christ, and we cannot make room for him if we distract ourselves by anticipating Christmas instead.

     The Incarnation is to be loved, cherished and celebrated in its fullness. But the Incarnation is only one necessary part of God’s salvific action, an action that continues to and through this very moment. With the Incarnation God enters into human history, to live in time and space with us, to fully experience all that we experience. In Advent the world is pregnant with anticipation of meeting Christ again when he comes to call God’s children back home. Let us not lose sight of the richness of this season.

If Not Now, When?

A practical note for those in ministry: The traditional music celebration for Advent is Lessons & Carols, a service of Scripture readings and appropriate music. Why not begin the Advent season with this celebration at evening twilight the first Sunday of Advent? The best time to celebrate a Christmas concert is on the feast of the Epiphany of the Lord, this year January 4, 2015. It is a way of continuing the celebration of the season in an authentic way, and also of elevating the Epiphany to the solemnity that is its due. Then, let the Christmas carols flow with great joy, as we celebrate the great gift of Christ’s birth, the beginning of the greatest chapter in God’s gift of salvation.

A Tale of Two Choirs

     It was the best of rehearsals, it was the best of liturgies. It was the worst of rehearsals, it was the worst of liturgies.

     You can mix them around anyway you want, but this is a tale of two choirs, the bane of every choir director under the sun. There is the choir that rehearses during the week and the choir that shows up on Sunday. And sometimes they have not a single singer in common!

     You know how it goes: “Sorry, I can’t be at rehearsal . . . But don’t worry, I’ll be there on Sunday.” Yeah, that’s just what I want: A group of people singing an anthem on Sunday who had not attended the last rehearsal. The member is well-intentioned, no doubt, and wishes to assuage their own choir guilt by assuring the director that they will be there when needed. What they fail to remember is that they are needed more for rehearsal than for Sunday. As one who directs a choir I can tell you, I would almost rather have the choir at rehearsal than on Sunday at all. The reason: If I have to lead the congregation alone on Sunday the community will be none the wiser. But if I have an unrehearsed choir attempt to sing, then it will be most noticeable.

     “Hey, we’re volunteers. You have to accept whenever we can be here and whenever we can’t.” Umm . . . no, I don’t. Let any soccer coach try that on their town recreation director and see what happens. And speaking of town recreation activities vis-a-vis church/music ministry activities: What would happen if a children’s choir director tried to tell a parent that their child, who had attended only 60% of rehearsals, could not sing on Sunday because they hadn’t thoroughly learned the music with the group? Isn’t it true that children who don’t attend their sports practices oftentimes cannot play because they hadn’t practiced enough with the team? I know these are gross generalizations and that this scenario happens in some places and not in others, but I think you get the point.

     This is not about punishing someone who does not rehearse. Every member is valued. The whole, however, truly is greater than the sum of its parts. Sometimes people don’t realize that their contribution to the sound of the group is greater than they know, and the director is as interested in creating a certain ensemble sound as he/she is in having the choir sing the right notes. In the end, however, the most important reason for the group is to minister to the community and help them to a more profound experience of God’s love and presence.
     Back to volunteerism. It is true that directors of ministry must be constantly diligent in the care and feeding of volunteers. Especially in music, most of these people are, in the true sense of the word, amateurs; i.e., they do this for the love of it, and not for money. (Amateur does not mean unskilled.) The director must constantly recognize and acknowledge the contribution (the gift) of time, talent and even treasure that comes from these individuals, all done from love. The director must also bear in mind that these people come to the ministry, indeed to the Church, from all different walks of life, for all different reasons. Some folks are spiritually and physically healthy, some are not. Some wear their hearts on their sleeve, some will never divulge even the most serious illness or trouble. For many, they come to the Church for stability in their lives, for God is ever-the-same throughout the ages. Having said all that, there are expectations on both sides: For the choir, they have the expectations that the director will be consistent, responsible and prepared, will provide them with the materials and the help they need, and be available to help them when needed. These expectations are the same whether they are paid or volunteer. For the director, he/she has the expectations that the choristers will be faithful to their choir commitments, be forthcoming with schedule conflicts, learn their music well, and act professionally. These are the same expectations whether the group is volunteer or paid. The only difference here is the lack of a paycheck.
     Music is truly a gift from God. The most beautiful music made on earth is noise compared to the music that is made in heaven, yet the beauty of music here is given to us as a glimpse of the promise that awaits us. The choirs we assemble here are a foretaste of the heavenly angelic choirs, whose beautiful music we cannot imagine in this life. Let us continue to make music, a taste of the Holy Trinity, for the love of God.

God of the Summer

     It has been awhile since I have written, I know. This summer has really flown by quickly. Here in the northeast, we have enjoyed a summer of mostly low humidity and had only several days above 90 degrees, all of which is unusual for these parts. So time really does fly when you’re having fun, and the mild weather has made it go by almost unnoticed.
     I find that summer is also a time when God shows us an even more kindly glance. Nature is in full bloom, temperatures are conducive to outdoor activity, and vacation time comes. My family, for the past number of years, has vacationed on the Atlantic coast of Virginia. It is family-friendly, reasonably priced, and the weather is always cooperative that time of year. We pile our children and my in-laws in our van and drive the 7-hour trip, which has always been a pleasant albeit tiring experience. For me personally, I find the journey just as exciting as the destination. And it is on such a trip that I find myself marveling in the awesomeness of God, both in the things God does himself and in the things and creatures God has made.
     Probably nothing is more awesome than the ocean, and nothing makes me feel so insignificant, except perhaps looking down at the planet from an airplane. When I say “insignificant” I don’t in any way mean “meaningless”. Sit at the edge of the ocean and realize how small and weak we are, and how God is infinitely greater than all the power of the entire world’s oceans. Greater than the power of all the world’s oceans, and yet small enough to reside in every human heart. Look what God has given us! And let’s not stop there. I recently watched a video on Facebook that animated the significance of Earth in the context of the solar system, the galaxy and the entire universe. Think about it: Our universe is at least 14 billion light years across, and that’s only the part we know. The universe may be much larger. Let’s see, 14 billion light years. That’s actually 822,989,974,000,000,000,000,000 miles, and yet God is bigger and more powerful than all of the energy contained within the space of those miles!
     One of the days of our trip we did some activities in the morning and went to the beach in the afternoon, right in front of our hotel. After an hour, a few raindrops started and we decided to head indoors. From our room we could see the thunderstorm come in, but then the winds changed. The lifeguard stand in front of our hotel was picked up and smashed down to the ground. The next one north of it was picked up and put down several yards closer to the water. Our beach cart on our balcony began to lift up and I pulled it inside quickly. This was our first experience of a tornado, an EF-0 that entered the area several blocks away and spent four minutes traveling up the beach, never actually touching down. Fortunately we were all safe, but several people were taken to hospitals and roofs and cars were damaged (including the roof of the local Catholic school). To my knowledge everyone survived, but it proved a few scary moments. And if this is a 0, what do the folks in Tornado Alley go through with their EF-3s, 4s and 5s? And even so, God is more powerful, yet his power means he can enter our beings with the quietest presence beyond our human imaginings.
     Does God give us all these things to keep us from getting bored? Doubtful. God gives us these things as a gift of love. (No, not tornadoes, that’s a discussion for another entry.) Nature is God’s unconditional gift to us. Like every creature, human, animal or plant, God gives us these gifts as an act of divine love. Every relationship we have is an act of divine love working in and through us. Every loving relationship is a reflection of the perfect relationship that is the Holy Trinity, God Three-in-One.
     More reflection to follow. Be safe!

Thinking of God

     A high school classmate of mine wrote recently on Facebook, “Isn’t it better to be sitting in a boat on Sunday thinking about God, than to be in church thinking about fishing?” My first reaction was, “What’s your point?” Isn’t this just someone trying to rationalize an excuse for not attending Mass? Well, if it’s not, let’s try to put it in terms that might hit a little closer to home. Picture a man saying this to his wife, as she complains he doesn’t spend any time with her: “But honey, isn’t better for me to be sitting in a boat fishing with the guys and thinking of you, than to be with you and instead thinking about fishing with the guys?” What wife would respond to that with, “You know, you’re right. Carry on!”? None that I know, and certainly not my own wife. Yet how is this any different when applied to our relationship with God?
     Another friend of mine has posted, “I believe in God. I just don’t have to meet him on Sunday.” Again, let’s apply this to a loved one: “I love you, but it doesn’t mean I ever have to visit you.” How would that one go over? Not well, I think we can all safely assume.
     It comes down to this basic truth: Christianity is about relationship. I’ve heard it said, and wisely, that one cannot be a Christian on a deserted island. Indeed, that is true. And why is Christianity about relationship? Because Christianity is about service, and  because our God lives in perfect relationship. A desert island provides no possibility to be in service to anyone, except perhaps to be in prayer about others. When Jesus commanded the apostles to love one another, he spoke not of an emotion but of action. (Our English language is so limited, is it not?) And just how is that command of love carried out? In service to one another.
     But let’s go back to the beginning of this entry. If God were a visible human being, we would never think of brushing God off by saying, “Well, I’ll be thinking of you while I stay away from you.” But why must we be in the pews each Sunday? God, after all, is everywhere, and those pews are simply filled with hypocrites anyway. I’ve always loved hearing about those hypocrites. My answer has always been, “Yes, and thank God we’re in church! Imagine how we’d be if we weren’t!”. Okay, so there are folks who leave at Communion time. Okay, so there are folks who come out of Mass and get angry when they don’t get a straight shot right out of the parking lot, as if they’ll never get home in this lifetime. As is often said, the Church is not a haven for saints but a hospital for sinners. We are flawed people, and creation is not yet finished. While the Eucharist is meant to change us, that change may not be instantaneous, and God has far more patience than we do.
     And now that we are in summer, what about the vacations many of us will take? So often nowadays God is forgotten. It used to be, all those years ago, that the first thing a family did upon arriving for vacation is to find the church so as to attend Mass on the weekend. Does that happen just as often today? My fear is that it does not. And yet, oftentimes, vacation is a time to take in nature, which tends to make God more manifest for us. Thus, our response should be to worship God in thanksgiving for the beauty of creation. I myself will be with my family at the oceanside. I find the ocean to be a reminder both of the immensity of God and of the attentiveness of God in every detail of creation. We humans are subject to the power of nature, and especially of the ocean when we visit it, yet God is infinitely more powerful than all of it. Even so, God is not only more immense than the entire universe, but so powerful to be found also in the tiniest act of creation as well as in every human heart.
     Why, then, must we abandon that fishing boat on Sunday and give God worship first? God, who calls each of us by name, redeems us as a people. Therefore, it is as a people that we must worship God as Christians. Every eighth day we come together as a worshipping community to offer to God the once and perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. We do this because we love God, and “people in love make signs of love” (Music in Catholic Worship, 4), lest that unexpressed love die. Those who claim that they simply “don’t get anything out of going to Mass” are looking for the wrong thing. We gain the joy of expressing our thanks and praise to God, worshipping the God who made us, thanking God for the salvation won for us by the death and resurrection of his Son, Jesus Christ.
     What better to be doing on Sunday?
     Your comments are always most welcome.

Celebrating Catholic Weddings, Part 3

The Rite of Marriage

     One of the most beautiful moments of any married person’s life is when they exchange vows with their beloved. It is an intimate moment, perhaps made a bit awkward by the public nature of the ceremony itself. The Church has ritualized this moment in a very beautiful way, and the rite provides for that beauty to be experienced by all present. Here are some ways to make the rite as prayerful and solemn as possible.

     First thing, follow the ritual as provided by the Church. There is no need to fluff up things. The rite already provides for personalizing the ritual by use of the couple’s names, and any more fluff by the presider only serves to bring attention to himself and away from the ministers of the sacrament, the couple. The assembly are to stand, not sit. We stand in witness and we stand in support of someone. We don’t sit in support of someone, for sitting is passive. Standing is active. We stand when we pray at Mass. Thus, we stand in prayer for and with this couple. But the pictures! People want to see them! Well, people will see them all day, but they want to see them at this special moment. Depending on the design of the worship space and sanctuary, it may be possible to have the couple stand on a high step or landing facing the assembly and have the presider stand below them facing them, also as a witness, which he is.

     Which form of vows to use? In the U.S. there are two options, plus the couple can write their own. If written by the couple, they need to follow a certain form, to make sure they include the canonically valid points. They should not be verbose, but should be concise and understandable by all. The form of the vows where the couple simply respond “I do.” should be used only in the case where the couple are capable of making a marriage commitment and of exchanging the sacrament, but are not capable of reciting the full vows publicly. I have never seen a case where this is warranted, although I have seen couples opt for it. Those who do, except for serious need, diminish the beauty of the sacramental moment, and make it appear more that the presider is receiving their consent than they are exchanging it with one another.

     What about memorizing vows? I was gung-ho on writing and memorizing vows, but then a friend of mine said to me that he saw a beauty in reciting those same words that our parents and grandparents, etc., reciting when they married. Enough said. And as for memorizing, it is more important that the couple concentrate on just what they are promising to each other than on whether or not they are remembering it properly.

     Next, make a provision for the couple’s vows to be heard. It is far more important for the couple to be heard by the assembly than to be seen, for it is the vows that the public witness. All too often we hear a booming presider say, over the microphone, “I, John, take you, Mary . . . ”, and never hear the couple! We also have moments when the presider turns off his microphone and we never hear anything of the vows at all. True, it may seem like an evening newscast to have someone put a microphone in front of the groom and bride when they speak, but it is better that they be heard. The same is true with the exchange of rings.

     Third, don’t let the ritual go to you-know-where. At the end of each prayer there is to be an assembly assent of “Amen.”. Make sure the presider leads the assembly to make their assent at each required moment.

     Following the presider’s witness, “You have declared your consent . . . ”, outside of Lent, it is a good idea to let the assembly sing an Alleluia, praising God for the sacrament that has been given.

     Do not ignore the Prayer of the Couple. Save for my own wedding, I have never seen this done. Following the Exchange of Rings and before the Universal Prayer, the couple have an opportunity to pray before God publicly, thanking God for their love, for their faith, and for the marriage they will live out for the rest of their days. Like Tobias and Sarah, my wife and I prayed sometimes together, sometimes one and then the other. It was a very beautiful moment.

     Unless required by the rubrics (e.g. celebrated at a Sunday Mass), the Profession of Faith is omitted.

     The Universal Prayer can be written by the couple. If so, it should follow the format in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal. Again, it should not be verbose, it is a secondary rite of the liturgy. And throughout this entire rite, the assembly should remain standing, until the end of this prayer.

More coming.

Celebrating Catholic Weddings, Part 2

Some additional thoughts on Introductory Rites

     Sometimes presiders, fearing the ritual can be cold, attempt to “warm it up” by adding niceties and anecdotal things outside of the ritual. For instance, the presider’s first words should always be, “In the name of the Father . . . ”, yet sometimes he will skip both the sign of the cross and the Pauline greeting in favor of a more mundane greeting. Let’s not forget, we are on holy ground, and the presider is the Church’s minister and witness, and not a game show host, if you will. Thus, it is always best for the presider to stay within the rubrics, leading the sign of the cross and greeting the assembly in the way prescribed, yet without following the greeting with a “translation” of “Good afternoon, everyone.”.

    The new Roman Missal states that the Penitential Act is to be omitted and that the Glory to God is to be included in a wedding Eucharist. This inclusion of the Glory to God, I believe, assumes the wedding is taking place on a Sunday. Although a good idea in theory, if it must be included it would best be recited, unless there is present an assembly ready to heartily sing it.

     Probably nothing makes me cringe more at a wedding than seeing a presider who arrives with his own binder. This usually indicates that he has amassed his own collection of prayers, etc. for use, and thus the musicians may have no idea what to expect next.

Liturgy of the Word at Weddings

     Couples are encouraged to select the readings for their wedding liturgy. Most of the time they are given a resource, Together for Life, by the late Rev. Joseph Champlain. This comprehensive resource gives to couples all the options for all the prayers and readings of the wedding liturgy. Personally, I don’t think that couples need to select which prayers the priest uses, but that’s a matter of one’s opinion. 

     It is important that couples choose their readings together. Couples should read the options and the commentaries, and might even take the opportunity to pray together over them. 

     Who should proclaim the readings? It is common for the couple to choose family or friends to proclaim the Scripture readings. Proclaiming Scripture is serious business, because as Catholics we believe Christ is truly present in the Word as in the Eucharist. Therefore, its proclamation must be entrusted to those who are properly able to minister. Someone who does not have a life in the Church is probably not the right person to proclaim Scripture.

     True story: During a February wedding one year, a groomsman (who seemed to have been drinking prior to the liturgy) got up to proclaim the second reading, from 1 Corinthians. Arriving at the ambo he said, “Before I do this, I’d just like to say that a lot of people were nervous having a February wedding because of the weather, but it was 11 years ago today that [bride & groom] had their first date, so let’s hear it for them!”. With that, thunderous applause from the otherwise stoic assembly, followed by, “Um . . . a reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians . . . ”. 

     Fortunately, it seems we are long past the days when Kahlil Gibran passages were requested or snuck in in lieu of Scripture readings. I even know a bishop who as a presbyter presided at the 1970s wedding of his cousin, and allowed a Gibran passage during the Liturgy of the Word, only crossing out the words “This is the word of the Lord.”! Needless to say, the Word of God is never to replaced by anything.

     It is also not necessary to have two readings before the Gospel. One can have a reading from either the Old or New Testament, the psalm, the Gospel acclamation and the Gospel, bearing in mind the Gospel is never to be omitted.
     The psalm is to be selected from among the psalms of Scripture. Must the psalm be selected from the prescribed psalms in the Lectionary? Not necessarily. For example, a seasonal psalm could be used, e.g. singing Psalm 118: This Is the Day at an Eastertide wedding. The psalm, however, must never be replaced by something that is not in the proper form or drawn from proper sources. Not to disparage a beautiful song or its wonderful composer, but one example would be using I Have Loved You as a “psalm”. But it is based on Psalm 24, you might say. Well, the verses, are inspired by Psalm 24, but that is all. The refrain is drawn from Jeremiah 31. While this song can be (and is) appropriately included in many weddings, it cannot be used as a setting of the psalm. Having said all that, there are countless wonderful settings of psalms for weddings that are available. Must the psalm be sung? Except for serious pastoral reason, yes. And as the Word of God, it should always be proclaimed (that is, sung) from the ambo rather than the cantor’s stand.
     Just as in any Mass, the Gospel is to be proclaimed from the ambo or pulpit, and not from anywhere else, e.g. standing in front of the couple or on the floor in front of the assembly. Following the Gospel and the homily, we come to the moment for which the couple have been waiting . . .

Celebrating Catholic Weddings, Part 1

The Catholic Wedding

     Catholic wedding. Just those two words are enough to make the skin of any liturgical minister crawl with stress. Why? For one, the words “Catholic wedding liturgy” are oftentimes an oxymoron.
     We are well into wedding season already. And let’s face it, the vast majority of couples who come to the Church to marry do not have a life in the Church. Some have not been to Mass since their Confirmation. Most are occasional attendees at best. And many, even those who do regularly attend Mass, come with unrealistic expectations of the Church and the liturgy, which creates a tension from the very beginning. Sometimes it is those who are known to the parish who come with the most outrageous requests, believing that their familiarity in the parish entitles them to certain exceptions. All of this can turn a joyful experience into one fraught with stress, both for the couple and for the Church.
     Let’s take a look at some of the aspects of the wedding liturgy and how it can be celebrated in a life-giving manner. In my years of pastoral experience, I have yet to see any liturgy committee (more on liturgy committees in a later post) take up the manner of how weddings are celebrated in their parish. It is also rare that the parish clergy will get together and decide on what I call a “house style” of celebrating these liturgies (let alone Sunday liturgies). At the very mention to a liturgy committee, I have heard (usually the older women) state that “It’s the bride’s day, she should have whatever she wants.”. Arrrggghhhh!
     Every sacrament is a celebration for the whole Church, though there may be private moments, such as during the celebration of Reconciliation. Weddings are public celebrations for the Church. As such, they need to be celebrated within the liturgical norms of the Church. If we gathered all the pastoral ministers in the Church in one place to trade stories, there would be a multitude of wedding “horror stories” shared among us. But let’s not focus on the negatives. There are also many weddings that are very beautiful, prayerful and Christ-centered. This post is geared toward bringing all weddings to that level.

Sunday Mass and the Wedding Liturgy

     Believe it or not, the proper time to celebrate a wedding is during Sunday Mass. What?? And have all those strangers there, not to mention how they would be dressed? What kind of a wedding would that be? First, as disciples of Christ, as members of his Body, we are not strangers, we are brothers and sisters in the Lord. This scenario, however, represents an ideal that does not yet represent reality in our culture, though in some parts of the world it is not unusual to have several couples marry in the same Sunday liturgy!
     Having said all that, let’s remember that the Sunday Eucharist is the center and summit of the Christian life. All that we do during the week we bring to that celebration, and all that we receive from that celebration we take with us into our weekly lives. It is the Sunday Eucharist that also shapes the way in which we celebrate all the sacraments. So, weddings should be modeled on the manner in which Sunday Eucharist is celebrated. For the sake of clarity, I will treat the liturgy in chronological, rather than hierarchical, order. But first . . .

Eucharist or Ceremony?

     The sacraments are celebrated in their normative fashion during the Eucharist. But are couples really looking to celebrate the Eucharist for their wedding? Like I said above, most couples don’t come to the Church for Sunday Eucharist, so why would they want their wedding celebrated in the context of Eucharist? For some, it’s because of family expectation, or for others they think it would be nice. Still others are sincerely wishing to make Eucharist part of their marriage, be it not necessarily on good soil. The choice is up to the couple in consultation with their parish priest, deacon or lay minister. It might make more sense to have most weddings celebrated in a Liturgy of the Word. Let’s be realistic: How many times are crickets heard when the presider says, “The Lord be with you.”, and the congregation doesn’t seem to “wake up” until the very end when the presider introduces the couple and the guests start applauding, screaming and howling. (I find that irreverent, but that’s me.) If anything, a ceremony within a Liturgy of the Word lessens the amount of awkward time spent in the sanctuary.

Dress

     Can we talk? I know it’s the 21st century and fashion is not what it was even 20 years ago, but for heaven’s sake, can we at least have some rule that bridal gowns be appropriate for church? As fashionable as they may seem nowadays, strapless gowns are simply not reverent and can make even the presider feel uncomfortable. At least in the church, shawls should be worn to preserve modesty and reverence.

Fashionably Late?

     Put succinctly, fashionably late is fashionably rude. Couples do not rent the church for the day, nor do they hire the pastoral staff for the day. Here is what I tell couples: It takes 10 to 15 minutes from the time the bride arrives at the church to the start of the wedding. Your wedding is at 1pm? You must arrive no later than 12:45 to start on time. And unless you are related to your limo driver, don’t listen to him when he tells you you should pull up at 1:05! Did you ever notice that couples seem to find more credibility in photographers and limo drivers than the Church when it comes to weddings?

The Introductory Rites

     It is here that the couple (the bride in particular) focuses the most attention, although liturgically this is a minor rite. We start with the procession. Actually, we start before the procession, because there are certain things that have become traditional in the Catholic wedding preparation. Will there be music played beforehand? If so, what type(s)? How long before the wedding will it start? Let’s start with type of music. Before, during, after, all music for the liturgy should be sacred music. We are here to celebrate a sacrament, not a romantic rendezvous. That is not meant to sound cold, for in fact it is romance that led to this day. Having said that, there is a place for romantic love songs during that day, but the liturgy is not meant for it. What about beforehand? Well, beforehand we are preparing ourselves for the celebration of the liturgy, be it Eucharist or ceremony, so again, sacred pieces should be the norm, without love songs or Broadway songs, etc. Those are best kept for the reception. Hey, what would happen if someone suggested dancing the first dance at the reception to Holy God, We Praise Thy Name? Well, it would be out of place, among other things. Exactly!

     With regard to the procession, Sunday Eucharist seems to be ignored. On Sunday we have the cross, followed by the Book of the Gospels, followed by the presider. This should also be the norm for weddings, and also gives an opportunity for more family involvement. A family member carries the cross in procession, another the Book of the Gospels, and the presider follows. Behind him, the entire bridal party, including the groom. Most people don’t realize this, but the ideal is for bride and groom to come down the aisle together. I have seen it happen more than once. The difference: Bride and groom come down the aisle beaming on each other’s arm, instead of looking scared. Now, the reality is that most brides wish to be accompanied by their fathers, so let’s not take that away from them. But here is something to consider: All couples in the wedding party, paired together for the day, should process as couples. The groom should not be hiding before the wedding and the groomsmen should not slip down the side aisle before the wedding begins, having the fashion show of the bridesmaids (to me it looks like cars popping out at the end of a carwash). We no longer have a bridal procession in a village of the bride’s father processing his daughter, i.e. his property, to her groom, to become the groom’s property, for which he paid a dowery to the father. In the “traditional” setup, both mothers are honored by being escorted and seated before the start of the procession. The bride’s father escorts her. Who’s left out? The groom’s father, who is neither honored nor even recognized. So, behind the presider let the couples process as couples, followed by the groom escorted by his parents (all depending on family situation). This could be reversed as well, with the groom and his parents following the presider. Then, lastly, the bride escorted by both her parents. Thus, these two families of origin (brides and grooms don’t come out of nowhere) bring their children to the altar to start a new family.

     What is happening musically during this time? Ideally, a song sung by all, just as on Sunday, but that is not practical, as everyone is watching the procession. Therefore, processional-type music, followed by a gathering song or hymn works very nicely, as long as the assembly have good worship aids (not those cast lists provided by local printers).

Lights, Camera . . .

     Weddings are a lot of work if you wish to do them correctly. In one parish where I served we decided to make our weddings more Christ- and prayer-centered than bride-centered. This took great effort. Did we lose some weddings? Absolutely, but we likely lost those that would prove to be problematic, and the ones we kept turned out to be mostly wonderful. One of the things we did in this regard was to require that there be no picture taking during the liturgy. We did adjust this to allow folks to snap a photo during the procession, but not after that. There are hired photographers and videographers, and that was enough. Few folks gave us a problem, and there were far less distractions. In order to celebrate in a prayerful manner, those distractions must be kept to a minimum, if not eliminated altogether. And as long as everything started relatively on time, and the church was available, folks were welcome to stay as long as they like and take pictures afterward.

Next up . . . The Liturgy of the Word